Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
