I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I can't turn off my feet"
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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