He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
