This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
