I CAN MOONWALK!
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
