We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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