my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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