why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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