So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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