Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
