oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Four minutes until I can fart!
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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