I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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