Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
