I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
