I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He did a backflip because drugs
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
