do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
