false alarm. still invincible.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
