The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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