Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
