My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
