the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I need moral support for this bender
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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