as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
