I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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