kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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