You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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