i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
