i think i have herpe
just one?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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