didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
We're too hungover to prance.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
