soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
