Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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