My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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