i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
