can we get nightvision for the apartment?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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