Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
