My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Randomize
