I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
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