Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I just blew my weed a kiss
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
