i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
