Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
