Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
