he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
