It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Randomize
