i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
