Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
honey bunches of taint.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
