Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
