I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
