Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
