you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Randomize
