So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
