How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
