Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
