Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
