Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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